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The most offensive page ever.

by:Pox

2008/08/15

Actors: How about you pretend yourself to a respected position in society?
ADD Kids: Calm the fuck down, you're not fooling anyone.
Afghanistan: Hey there my angry bearded friends. The best thing about your oppressive dump-land is that it's funny to pick it as my joke country when I sign up for random accounts for bullshit I don't need all over the web.
Africans: It's called "agriculture", you primitive fucks.
Alcoholics: How weak-willed are you, you dipshit? You can't resist drinking yourself drunk 5 times a week? You have a problem alright: you're a moron.
Alf: I never watched that show. I'm sure it was HORRIBLE. Not offensive enough? huh... NEGRO!!!
Americans: Yeah, it's really hard to have a great country when you start fresh with an entire ressource-rich continent with a perfect climate and a limitless supply of slaves.
Anorexics: You know you're not fat, can't you find a less stupid way to get attention?
Astronauts: Smart move; training hard all your life to blow up in a shitty shuttle before even leaving the atmosphere.
Athletes: The only people with more drugs in their system than chemo kids and millionaire cokeheads.
Autistic kids: I'm sorry your parents didn't choke the life out of you long ago instead of blaming vaccines for their mistake.

Babies: Unless you're white, get the fuck out of here, there's enough of us.
Belgium : Like France, but without the culture or the food. Completely worthless, basically.
Beggars: Why don't you go beg a speeding bus to end your life with some dignity?
Bible Belt: Why the fuck do you shitheads have bibles when you can't even read?
Black and White Photographers: Go back to 1950 you artsy cunts.
Blacks: When you'll have outspanwed white people and still live in a heap of your own filth, who are you going to blame for your problems?
Blind People: So it's not enough that you get a cool dog and a cane, you need to have hyper-sensitive hearing too? I hate you.
Bloggers: No one, and I mean NO ONE gives a shit.
Blue Collars: Did you have fun playing sports in high school? How's the vomit-cleaning business going? Oops, there's a pothole, fix it you lazy flabby bastard.
British: The only cool British person to have ever lived was a fictional character played by Mike Myers.

Canadians: 400 years old and still no identity.
Cats: What animal do you even come from? Where are the wild cats? Get me a lion please.
Catholics: How about you kill each other right now so you can fuck off to Heaven?
Celebrities: None of you have any talent, yet you are rich. That's why you deserve to be stalked by insane people with camera phones UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE.
Chinese: Do you really need to destroy the earth to make all that dollar store shit?
Circus Performers: A lifetime of training and you're out-entertained by a fat kid swinging a broomstick who got famous by accident.
Clowns: What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you hate kids so much?
CNN: It's fun to get news from people who never speak their minds to throw softball interviews to pricks!
College Kids: Hint: it doesn't cost 20k a year to get drunk every week and kiss your roommate's dick by "accident"
Comedians: You're not politically relevant and no one important will ever listen to your ideas.
Concentration Camps: Hey maybe you should send the ADD kids there. To help them COMCENTRATE! By shoveling coal 15 hours a day with one meal, and by meal I mean stale bread and all the rainfall they can lick off the mine shaft walls.
Conjoined Twins: You have your soul mate right there and you still complain?
Conspiracy Theorists: My theory: your parents beat you up which made you unable to concentrate during class thus explaining your current job as a mop technician at Arby's and your boundless will to one day become the hero who uncovers the truth. Sadly, you're a fucking moron and it will never happen. You shall die alone.
Creationists: How do you live with yourselves? Please become rapists so you climb up on the social ladder.

Dancers: Almost as useful as a guy who walks around the office trying to put back paper clips in their original shape. Severly twisting your ankle is the best thing that will ever happen to you.
Democrats: Stop trying to look cool you dorks.
Dogs: Too much of a pussy to tame a wild wolf? Why not get a pitbull and set it loose on kids? Hey, they can't blame YOU, right? Now pick up the shit you bastard.
Dyslexics: Hwo nce to be albe to balme yuor stupidity on a cnditon

Egyptians : Maybe you could have amounted to something if you hadn't forced your entire population to build giant smooth rock piles. Penis envy much?
Endangered Animals: Your ivory makes the best chair legs and your penises make the best aphrodisiacs. Enjoy the destruction of your habitats while we dam this river to create cheap electricity so we can mass-produce Pepsi cans as affordable prices!

Facebooks Users: I despise you and everything you represent. I will never accept your invites. EVER.
Family Guy: AKA reference jokes lottery. Miss. Miss. Miss. THUNDERCATS??! HAHA I WATCHED THAT ONCE AS A JOKE!!!
Fans: Stop liking things, you're only encouraging them.
Fat People: Is it SO hard to buy a crate if Ipecac?
Fitness Models: Recent studies suggest that people with 20 extra pounds of body fat live longer than thin people. How does it feel, working 40 hours a week on something that will kill you faster?
Flash Artists: Learn a real art medium you little shits.
FOX News: Fuck you.
French People: They should write a book called "How to Think You're Better Than Everyone at Everything While Still Sucking so Much Ass".
French-Canadians: Stop spreading your mouth-disease and convert to English already. Your culture is shit, no one will miss it.

Gallery Artists: The only reason people ever buy your garbage is in the hopes that you'll die and they can make a profit off you.
Gamers: Did we really need another word for "loser"?
Garage Bands: You will NEVER make it. Ever. Why don't you quit?
Gays: You're not impressing anyone with how horny you are. It's SAD to be sex-starved enough to kiss another man's balls.
Germans: Keep it coming.
God: The wackiest fictional character ever invented. Take THAT, Willy Wonka!
Gods: The only imaginary friends you'll ever need!
Golfers: Congratulations, you play the WORST sport known to man, and it costs you a FORTUNE.
Graphic Designers: We have enough of you already, stop dressing shitty content up in slick new packaging to try and trick us into wasting cash on bullshit.
Greek Philosophers: Blablabla too bad you couldn't actually come up with something other than philosophy 101 psychobabble or you might have saved your civilization from getting crushed.

Hair Stylists: You're awesome, charging 200 dollars for 15 minutes of work? Anyone stupid enough to go to your store deserve that fate.
Haiti: Used to be a paradise on earth, then black people came.
Handicaps: If you have enough stamina to get to the mall, you have enough to walk 20 extra meters. Stop stealing the good parkings.
Harlequin Babies: AW GROSS, WHY DID YOU ACCUMULATE THAT MUCH BAD KARMA YOU FUCKS?
Hippies: All the songs, pot brownies and tie-dye shirts in the world won't stop planes from crashing into buildings.
Holidays: All lame. How about a "No Work Day"? Finally something everyone can enjoy. Except people who work at schools, because kids still have to go to school on that day. No presents or candy, just extra homework.
Homeless People: Where are the wolves when you need them?
Hot Women: Have fun battling the age clock twice as hard as everyone for every decade after your 20s

Immigrants: How about you improve your own country instead of moving away to mooch on other people's success?
Infomercials: Now officially the best things on TV.
Interior Decorators: That is sad.
Internet Debaters: All the fun of never changing someone's mind combined with a learning experience that rivals a museum tour guided by Terry Shiavo.
Inventors: Instead of each working alone to invent one stupid thing, why don't you all combine to invent one cool thing like the cure for death?
Iraq: Thanks for NOTHING, fuckers.
Irish: POTATOES. RIVERDANCE. RED MUTTONCHOPS. SILLY ACCENTS. Worthless.
Isreal: Why don't you fucking wipe yourselves off the face of the Earth you whiny fucking Jews? Die already so we can all get on with civilization.
Italians: Wow I sure would love to live in a country that hasn't changed since the 16th century. More decrepit old ruins than a Rolling Stone's concert.

Japanese: Stop yelling, it won't make your dicks any bigger or your TV shows any less batshit insane.
Jesus: Santa Claus for masochistic mentally retarded adults.
Jews: Do you double-cross everyone else because you're missing a piece of your dick, or because none of you has eyesight good enough to not have to wear those stupid round jew-glasses? What's up with the fucking hat you dolts? Is that what Abraham wore? A black felt hat with a tuxedo?
Jocks: You're everything that's wrong with the world. Everything.
Journalists: When was is that you stopped caring about the truth and just sat on your ass waiting for the next sensationalist crock of shit to come along?
Jugglers: What's with all the balls?

KKK : Holy shit, grow up you fat cocksuckers.
KFC : Why don't you just sell fried chicken skins already? Let real cooks use the meat part.
Kids: No one likes kids. Thank you China for trying to eradicate them by putting lead in their toys.

Lesbians: Too insecure to get with a guy? Why not buy a vibrator and leave my girlfriend alone? ... Ah I don't have a girlfriend...AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING. Bitches.

Maddox: How great it must be to be that famous by sheer luck alone!
Memes: They're great. Make more.
MENSA Members: Can your IQ grow back your hair or buy you the love of a woman?
Mexicans: Congratulations, you're the closest thing to a cockroach in the mammal kingdom!
Middle Management: You're not worth dick. No one relies on you for anything, you have no real power and everyone under you hates your guts. Time to go berserk.
Middle-class White Males: I hope everyone keeps dumping on you, you fat slime.
Mimes: Who came up with this shit?
Mongolia: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Enjoy the bitter cold while you drink your rancid Yak milk. Payback, bitches!
Mormons: What a sad life, to give credit for everything you've done as a person on a stupid myth that's the equivalent of 19th century Scientology.
Mother Theresa: Rot in hell, you vapid cunt. Hope you had fun overseeing the death of thousands while you rode around in jets and limousines, you fucking vulture.
Muslims: Either you all die, or EVERYONE dies. In any case, you will NEVER rule the earth. Your little fascist fantasies will never pan out you cunts.

Nerds: If you were ACTUALLY smart, you'd wash your hair, lose weight and get laser corrective surgery.
Nigeria: I'm pretty sure those spam emails come from actual Nigerians because that trick works 25% of the time over there. That's what happens when your nation is retarded.
North Korea: I wish I could be the leader of that place. THEN YOU'D SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LAUGH AT MY MICROPENIS.

Olympic Games: Every 4 years, we show that we really don't give a shit anymore as we waste as much time and money as possible watching people jump around like idiots.
Oprah Fans: There's no possible way that any of you has an IQ over 90.
Orphans: Maybe if your head wasn't so fucking big, mommy wouldn't have died giving birth to you. Dad died in a car crash or something. BECAUSE OF YOU.

Paraplegics: Was it worth it to attempt that one really stupid stunt? You ALMOST jumped that ramp! Almost. Now you'll never walk again. Aaaaaaw.
Pedophiles: Keep up the good work.
People Over 100: Give me your blood. I NEED IT.
People with big dicks: Have fun masturbating because women don't enjoy shoving beer cans up their snooze.
People with mental diseases: I have no pity for you. You can walk, can't you? Then don't waste everyone's time and money in school and go plow my fields.
People with small dicks: Have fun masturbating because...oh wait you can't even do that, you diminutive prick. PUN INTENDED. PUN SOOOOOOO FUCKING INTENDED.
Politicians: You thought it would be fun to make decisions? Well enjoy the rest of your life lying like the sack of shit you are to please your corporate overlords. Rest in peace knowing you have changed NOTHING and everyone hated you.

Quadriplegics: Unless you're as smart as Stephen Hawking, please die. And even then...

Rape Victims: You had it coming and you know it.
Rednecks: I know why you hate black people. They're smarter than you and they have bigger dicks. Yes, black people are smarter than you. Black people. So grab that shotgun and discharge your anger at local animals, Jesus will still love you.
Religions: Thanks for making Earth into hell. Now please all die out so WE can finally get to heaven.
Republicans: Almost as corrupt as they are Christian (retarded).
Richard Dawkins: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

Sarcasm: The only way anyone should ever express themselves.
Scientologists: There's two kinds: the vile, despicable, criminally evil kind and the borderline-retarded I-can't-believe-you're-buying-into-this-shit ones. Either way, you DON'T want to be a scientologist.
Sci-Fi Geeks: Out of all the possible things you could be a geek of, you chose the WORST.
Scotts: There's exactly 0 positive stereotypes about you. HAH
Seattle: Prime exporters of snoot, smug and asshat.
Sex Offenders: I applaud your courage to make your love of children public.
Simpsons: Bart is 30 years old. HOLY SHIT. This is fucking sad. He's been in 4th grade for 20 years. A retard worthy of Americans everywhere.
Single Moms: That's what you get for having sex with a black guy. SIKE
Skeptics: How fun is it to know you're going to die and go NOWHERE and there's NOTHING you can do about it? Have a pleasant life of smugly correcting people, fags.
SomethingAwful.com: Yes, we get it, everything sucks and is stupid.
South Korea: Grow a pair of balls.
South Park: Your "message" will never reach higher than the X-Box generation and you'll fall into obscurity and irrelevance without having done anything.
Southerners: Why do you live in such a dry, hot boring place?
Sport Fishing Show Host: Yes, torturing fish while drinking beer is a sport. Hope you choke on a harpoon.
Suicide: The only answer for people who feel like killing themselves.
Swedes: Summer is BANNED from your country. What a lame dump.

Teachers: Who's trust someone stupid enough to hang around teenagers all day?
Telemarketers: I can't believe someone is paying you to call people who will instantly hate you forever.
Terrorists: They blow up babies but they get offended at cartoons. That's called "being retarded".
Texans: You sure are fat fucks
Tibet: Give up already, your country is a tiny pre-medieval shithole.
Tourette's Guy: Dead and still hilarious.
TV Hosts: Like a radio host, but we recognize you in the streets for easier ridicule.

UFO nuts: Yes, aliens came all this way for YOU. You egotistical prick, bake me some corn bread.

Vaginas: You smell.
Vegans: They have a place who people who don't eat anything, it's called Ethiopia.
Vegetarians: If you have any other reason than being poor for not eating meat, you're a dipshit.
Vloggers: The fatter, more loser-ish cousins of the bloggers.

Webmasters : You'll never make money with your site you dope, just quit already.
Web comic writers: Holy shit, how little talent could one person possibly have? It's actually possible to learn how to draw, you lazy unimaginative reject.
White Collars: How does it feel to type useless report after useless report as you feel your ass grow and your hair fall out? Welcome impotence!
Women: Like 50% of a man, but with tits.
Writers: Officially the EASIEST JOB EVER.