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I'm super racist

by:Grandma

2009/03/30

I'm very racist. Just to give you an idea of how racist I am: every time I see myself in the mirror, I notice the color of my skin and start finding qualities about myself based on that. The other day I applied at a bank by mistake after I caught my reflection in their window pane. I didn't get hired because they weren't as racist as me. Fuck them.

I really hate black people. Man, what's wrong with them? Anyone who chooses to be black must be an idiot, so right off the bat you know I'm not mistaken when I assume they're worthless. For instance: if you're black, how are you going to know if you're wearing army camouflage makeup or not? And if you spilled chocolate on your face, you'd never really know if you got it all. Anyway back to my racism....
I pin all the problems of the world on black people. There's so many of them that they're never so far from any situation that I can't blame them for it. For example, just last week, Mr. Marbles choked to death on a fishbone in her kitty food. If it's not a black man who caught that tuna, I'm sure one made the can or the boat that caught the fish. Or, like, annoyed the rich white guy who owns the factory where they make boats. It's his fault their quality control is so lacking.

Black people also invented everything that sucks. Just look at their music: Rap, Jazz, Reggae, Hip-Hop, Tam-Tams... Horrible. And I know they're responsible for Death Metal and Eskimo throat music. That shit is terrible. Black people invented peanuts, the thing that everyone is allergic to. They invented slavery. They invented cubism. Stanley Kubric's soul is black.

BLAAAAAAAAAAACKS!!!

And why are they always angry? Those worthless idiots! Why I bet they'd get mad if they saw this page. Morons. Tools. Buffoons. Just upon glancing at this, they'd get pissed off like the mad apes they are! WOULDN'T YOU? YOU TURDS!

You won't see my cats getting angry. When I reprimand them for choosing the uglier pillows to sleep on, they don't talk back or shoot me with an illegal firearm.

BLAAACKS!!!

Which bring me to Asians. Did you ever notice that they have small penises? When I was in Nam ( I didn't wait for the army, I was there in the 50's) and routinely aducted Charlie to let him rot naked in a pit, I couldn't help but stare at his diminutive genitals and his shameful impotence. You'd think that being roughed up by a lady such as I would at least get them a little excited as I drenched their skulls in peroxyde... but NO. What a sad excuse for a race. Only good for maths and building shitty can-openers. They should call them CAN'T-openers. Ha. Hahaha. HAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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